Stay At Home Mom Blues
First and foremost let me start by that I LOVE my son to death! Words can’t express what this little boy means to me, but there are just days when I feel like I can’t do it anymore. You see here’s the thing, I’m a stay-at home mother to a one year-old boy. Granted I know that I am not the first woman to put her career on hold to stay home and raise her child (ren) and I won’t be the last. Being home with my little one is wonderful but then there are days when I would rather be around other adults instead of him.
Most stories I’ve heard of being a stay at home mom have been beautiful stories about how you get to watch your child grow up and how you get to share such a great bonding moment with them every day, yeah, yeah but what they don’t tell you is that there will be days that you don’t want to be mommy, days that you don’t want to play, days that you just want to give up. Well that is my case.
I have my days that I am super energetic and I just want to love on my baby boy, days I just want to dance with him, nights when he cooperates and goes to bed when I need him to. But then I have my days like I have had in the past few months when all I want is to be left alone, when I don’t want to play with him, nights that I just want to leave him in his crib crying and have him figure it out. I spend day in and day out with this little boy and sometimes I’m just tired and feel stressed out, that’s when I start to question myself and doubt myself as a mother.
I cry and lash out at everyone because I CAN’T take it anymore. This being a mom thing is hard as hell, shoot being a parent period is difficult. I sometimes just remove myself and ask my husband to take over. When I have those days I have to remind myself that my family and I have a roof over our heads, food to eat and clothes our backs. Maybe what I am feeling is post-partum depression or maybe it’s just what comes with being a mom, but at the same time I tell myself that I am a GREAT mother and that sometimes I have to take a minute and breath. It’s not easy and he is just a child. Have to take it one step at a time and one day at a time.
If you are a parent reading this and you’re struggling with the ups and downs of parenthood, know that its ok cry and you are not alone. Don’t hold on to that anger because the last thing you want is to take it out on that small being. Seek help. Find someone to talk to, whether it is a family member, a friend, a doctor or even a local mental health agency.
Remember you’re doing a great job.